In recent weeks, while the Park City has battled inconsistency, Papi's been out of the lineup. He was placed on the DL with severe case of the love bug - turns out he was recently married and honeymooning. Then came back and actually prioritized his real life job over the team, leaving many pundits to worry if Papi's superstar play is leading to a prima donna nonchalance. So come on Papi, what's the real story?
KEEP IT VINTAGE: I understand you were recently married and didn't show up to play baseball that weekend - what gives? Barkeep showed up on his wedding day... Looks to me like you may not have your vintage priorities in line.
PAPI: Dude My Wife is hot! I am the luckiest man alive this century...err last two centuries? Barkeep set very high vintageness playing on his wedding day. Them Irish boys are great when it comes to drinking and being vintage ballists. Us um...eh...ahhh..."Latino's" are great lovers and slick in the field. To be honest the only reason she married me is for my base ball abilities. Oh and because of my Huge Muscles! I actually did put my Orator Uniform on and was all set to play but this just turned my wife on and... Well, I did get to play in my Orator Uniform. Did I mention my Wife is hot?
KIV: Many felt India was worse off for being controlled by the Bharatiya Janata Party. But since the Indian National Congress in recent elections won back the Lok Sabha, have you really felt there's been tangible change? And do you think the Rajya Sabha would ever truly cooperate with progressive Lok Sabha legislation anyway?
P: Dude, my wife is hot! We were a little busy so I must have missed that. Rajva Sabha she sounds hot too. I'll have to see if My Wife would be into that!
KIV: ...By the way did it sound like I knew what the hell I was talking about right there?
P: Phewww I was lost and turned on at the same time there. You really sounded intelligent for a minute. I was really surprised.
PAPI: Dude My Wife is hot! I am the luckiest man alive this century...err last two centuries? Barkeep set very high vintageness playing on his wedding day. Them Irish boys are great when it comes to drinking and being vintage ballists. Us um...eh...ahhh..."Latino's" are great lovers and slick in the field. To be honest the only reason she married me is for my base ball abilities. Oh and because of my Huge Muscles! I actually did put my Orator Uniform on and was all set to play but this just turned my wife on and... Well, I did get to play in my Orator Uniform. Did I mention my Wife is hot?
KIV: Many felt India was worse off for being controlled by the Bharatiya Janata Party. But since the Indian National Congress in recent elections won back the Lok Sabha, have you really felt there's been tangible change? And do you think the Rajya Sabha would ever truly cooperate with progressive Lok Sabha legislation anyway?
P: Dude, my wife is hot! We were a little busy so I must have missed that. Rajva Sabha she sounds hot too. I'll have to see if My Wife would be into that!
KIV: ...By the way did it sound like I knew what the hell I was talking about right there?
P: Phewww I was lost and turned on at the same time there. You really sounded intelligent for a minute. I was really surprised.
You should talk to Gentleman Ben. He is very worldly, he's always talking about conquering Mexico and Russia. Maybe he's been in India these last few weeks. Word around town is he hasn't been spotted on the field lately.
KIV: You're known as a pretty fiery guy whose emotions run high on the field. You seem like the type of guy who would cry at the end of Rudy. True?
P: Wow, just because I'm Latino you have to call my fiery? I see where we stand with each other. I definitely run on high octane when I'm on the field but I'm very mellow and laid back off the field.
KIV: You're known as a pretty fiery guy whose emotions run high on the field. You seem like the type of guy who would cry at the end of Rudy. True?
P: Wow, just because I'm Latino you have to call my fiery? I see where we stand with each other. I definitely run on high octane when I'm on the field but I'm very mellow and laid back off the field.
Maybe it has to do with watching Ben try to play third base or thinking about one of Vintage Joe's million emails. But yeah I cried. You have Notre Dame Football and the dorky kid from the Goonies: I love Notre Dame football and that kid just can't act but his stunt double did get that sack.
KIV: How'd you hear about the vintage game and what made you join the Orators? To try to make this interview more exciting can you add a bank robbery and police chase somewhere in there. Thanks.
P: I'ts actually kind of crazy. I was living a poverish life in Puerto Rico. We simply had no money for gloves but we have such a passion for this game we play anyway. One day we played a game near the port where the cruise ships come in and this beautiful blonde lady kept screaming "go Papi" every time I made a play. I noticed her gringo husband always had a hot dog or pretzel or our native dish Mofongo in his mouth. So I would scream back Viva el Gordo! He looked displeased or maybe it was heartburn.
KIV: How'd you hear about the vintage game and what made you join the Orators? To try to make this interview more exciting can you add a bank robbery and police chase somewhere in there. Thanks.
P: I'ts actually kind of crazy. I was living a poverish life in Puerto Rico. We simply had no money for gloves but we have such a passion for this game we play anyway. One day we played a game near the port where the cruise ships come in and this beautiful blonde lady kept screaming "go Papi" every time I made a play. I noticed her gringo husband always had a hot dog or pretzel or our native dish Mofongo in his mouth. So I would scream back Viva el Gordo! He looked displeased or maybe it was heartburn.
Anyway after the game I gave the beautiful blonde an autograph and a kiss on the cheek. That's when I saw El Gordo approaching. I thought if he sits on me I may miss the next game so I ran for my life. El Gordo was swifter than he appeared though. I tried to lose him in the market with all the food around. I hid with the cantaloupe thinking he'd never be interested turns out to be his favorite and he caught me. El Gordo was actually our own Vintage Joe and he just needed a shortstop who could play without a glove. He promised me Bridgeport would be just like living in Puerto Rico just a little colder. El Gordo speaks the truth! Plus my wife worked with him when he started the team.
KIV: In high school, you were an outfielder, now you're an infielder. What's the transition been like? Also talk about what it was like to have to stop using a glove.
P: It's kind of funny actually, I played shortstop in Little league until I was about 10. I joined a new team and the coach's son played shortstop so I got moved to third base. One game timeout was called and the kid on third base was tying his cleats off the base. Our catcher decided that he should throw the ball to me anyway and I saw the ball coming at my chest so I put my glove up the ball ricocheted up into my eye and I spent five days in the hospital.
KIV: In high school, you were an outfielder, now you're an infielder. What's the transition been like? Also talk about what it was like to have to stop using a glove.
P: It's kind of funny actually, I played shortstop in Little league until I was about 10. I joined a new team and the coach's son played shortstop so I got moved to third base. One game timeout was called and the kid on third base was tying his cleats off the base. Our catcher decided that he should throw the ball to me anyway and I saw the ball coming at my chest so I put my glove up the ball ricocheted up into my eye and I spent five days in the hospital.
I played with that team until high school and my coach never let me play anywhere but centerfield again. By that time I was pretty well known for my centerfield abilities I was never very pretty but I made more plays than Willie Mays and Joe Dimaggio combined. Vintage ball shows me I always coulda been an infielder/ I throw the ball just as hard as I did in the outfield but the short distance makes it look like I actually have a strong arm (that's our little secret though right?)
Not having a glove makes me look better than I am or maybe it's playing between Ginger and Ben. I just wish I had bigger hands. All my talent is in my knickers!
KIV: Please end this interview doing your best sammy davis jr impression. GO!
P: I knew a man, Bojangles, and he danced for you
in worn out shoes.
With silver hair, a ragged shirt and baggy pants,
the old soft shoe.
He jumped so high, jumped so high, then he lightly touched down.
I met him in a cell in New Orleans, I was
so down and out.
He looked at me to be the eyes of age,
as he spoke right out.
He talked of life, he talked of life. He laughed, clicked heels instead.
Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles,
dance!
Take that Barkeep!
Did I mention my wife is hot?
Not having a glove makes me look better than I am or maybe it's playing between Ginger and Ben. I just wish I had bigger hands. All my talent is in my knickers!
KIV: Please end this interview doing your best sammy davis jr impression. GO!
P: I knew a man, Bojangles, and he danced for you
in worn out shoes.
With silver hair, a ragged shirt and baggy pants,
the old soft shoe.
He jumped so high, jumped so high, then he lightly touched down.
I met him in a cell in New Orleans, I was
so down and out.
He looked at me to be the eyes of age,
as he spoke right out.
He talked of life, he talked of life. He laughed, clicked heels instead.
Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles
Mister Bojangles,
dance!
Take that Barkeep!
Did I mention my wife is hot?
KIV: Aye lad. You did...
The 10th Inning is a series of posts where we profile and interview Bridgeport ballists and other vintage personalities.
3 comments:
"KEEP IT VINTAGE: Barkeep showed up on his wedding day... Looks to me like you may not have your vintage priorities in line.
PAPI: Dude My Wife is hot!"
...Whoa! Are you dissing Brian's wife?? I hope this doesn't disturb the delicate balance of team chemistry that we've achieved since Willie Randolph's departure.
Oh, and that stuff with Mr. Bojangles...? Really, really gay.
I attended Big Papi's wedding....let's put it this way... I never saw a big man dance so well, smooth, strong, yet fiery and slick....this guy got all the moves!
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